Of Things Past
by 0x
Summary: Kakashi reflects on his feelings for Iruka after a difficult mission.


Wearing white made Kakashi feel uncomfortable. Newborn babies of Konoha are swaddled in soft white. A white sheet is placed over the face of the dead. Here, white surrounded him. It clung to his skin, made sticky by sweat, and blood. He could no longer distinguish between his own and that of the...Sometimes Kakashi wondered what made a man. He debated over it, pondered it, and turned it over in his mind like a woman looking for flaws in a suitor. What qualities made him human? What separated him from men like...that? The ones who hungered for power, who had lost all reason. The list of sins a man is capable of is infinite.

Kakashi unwound the 'just-in-case' bandages from his leg. The case had come. The bleeding had mostly stopped now, but the wound needed to be dressed. Kakashi claimed a handful of snow, the wet, heavy snow that seemed to fall from infinity. The sky was grey. The ground deceived the world into thinking it was clean, fresh, flat. Kakashi felt like the tree he leaned against. A tree should not be barren of it's brilliant green, no more than a ninja be denied his embracing black. He raised the hem of his previously pristine shirt, and the protective fishnet underneath, and began winding the bandage around his waist. It made him smile.

_months earlier_  
Warm fingertips barely touched the skin of his pale back. Their lips met, and met again, until they were well acquainted. The famously lazy ninja had once again, week after week, mysteriously "misplaced" or "lost" or "my dogs ate it" his mission report. Iruka was sick of it. It wasn't as if he didn't have other people to report to as well! What makes YOUR reports soooooo important that YOU can be late with them and make everyone else WAIT for you until YOU'RE good and ready to come in! WELL! Iruka huffed after his temper subsided. It took him a moment to realize his own audacity, barging into Kakashi's apartment after following him home, while ranting the whole way. He stood there, abashed, and unsure of what to say next.

"You're cute when you're mad." Kakashi smiled under his mask, genuinely amused. Iruka, already off-guard due to his own impropriety, teetered dangerously close to defencelessness. He rubbed his scar with his index finger and prepared a counter-assault.  
"Well, you're weird!"

Years spent in the company of five-year-olds had not given Iruka an impressive arsenal. Nonetheless, it seemed to have worked as a diversionary tactic since Kakashi was so caught up in his own laughter that he didn't notice Iruka stealing the copy of Icha Icha Paradise lying open on the coffee table.

"If you want this back, then I expect ALL of your overdue reports to be on my desk by Monday morning."

Kakashi's mirth sobered instantly. "That's the latest issue...I was just getting to the good part."

Iruka snorted, unconcerned. "Then you should act _quickly_."

The jounin complied. In less than a second, he crossed the space between them. His hand lightly grasped Iruka's wrist before sliding down and covering the hand that held the book. Kakashi savoured the sensation. In fact, he had been purposefully avoiding the other man ever since certain feelings began to develop. Those twitching, turnsy, adolescent, heated, feelings that signalled the beginnings of...infatuation. Kakashi had wanted nothing to do with them. He banished them from his thoughts whenever they arose, but since they were equally as stubborn as Kakashi himself, they fought again and again to be heard.

"Kakashi-san..." He'd imagined hearing those words before, whispered softly on the air, from the mouth of a man he could call his lover. Only now, they were real, and the only man Kakashi desired to have as a lover was watching him intensely, an inch away.

Iruka blushed, but could not look away. His eyes flickered from Kakashi's own to his mask-covered lips and back. This tiny movement was enough to drive Kakashi over the edge. As he leaned forward, his free hand reached upwards and lowered the mask. Iruka closed his eyes, his lips parting slightly as Kakashi's met his. Warm fingertips slipped under the older nin's shirt to touch the small of his back. Since this could be Iruka's one chance to explore forbidden territory, he was damn well going to take advantage of it.

_Currently..._  
As Kakashi wound the bandage around his waist, his smile at the memory of their first kiss turned into a grimace of pain. The damage from the kunai attack was not deep, but had cut sensitive flesh. He exhaled; his breath turning to vapour as it hit the cold air.


End file.
